Saturday, August 7

It's high time for some High Drama Blogfest...

What an awesome idea for a blogfest!  Thank you to DL Hammons for hosting.  Please visit Cruising Altitude for our other blogger-friends and check out their dramatic entries.

I had a difficult time choosing a scene.  I suppose I chose this because it reminded me of a soap opera, and if anything is high drama, it's a darn soap opera.

Like yesterday's blogfest post, it's from my new WIP, The Paladin.  It's a bit longish, but reads quickly because of all the dialogue.  Please be gentle as my entire WIP is in infancy and has been written over the last two weeks.  Thus it's an unedited, very first rough draft.

     Rainee rounded a corner not too far from her suite when she saw Tom. He stood an inch or two away from a tall, voluptuous blonde, leaning toward her and speaking urgently against her ear. The woman’s hands rubbed up and down his upper arms.
     Her immaculate, label-heavy apparel and glamorous hair and makeup pegged her as a socialite. Even the shoes she wore cost more than the average person made in a month or two. Not one to avoid conflict, Rainee ditched her limp as best she could and approached the couple.
     “Hello, Tom. Amber.”
     “Oh!” The blonde startled at Rainee’s sudden appearance at her side. “Rainee, I didn’t know you were out of the med ward yet.”
     “I never went to a med ward, Sis.” Rainee knew her sister hated being called anything but her own name. “Nice of you to come and visit your wounded sister, though.”
     “Now Rainee, you know how busy it is at the office, and I’ve been in committee meetings the last two days. It’s very hard work. Isn’t that why you left the business?”
     “Yes, of course. It must be tough fitting in the salon visit every other day. What brings you to Aurora, Amber? Didn’t you say this settlement was the ghetto?”
     “I’m sure you’ve heard about the shipping transport losses recently. We met with the Security Director and the Council to find a solution to the security issues within the shipping lines.” So that’s where Dan and Emma were this afternoon. “Tom was amazing with his insight and support. I feel confident he can get us what we need to continue operations in the area.” Rainee could almost hear the purr in Amber’s voice. The woman kept a hand possessively on Tom’s arm.
     “Sounds like all’s well in the land of movers and shakers.” Despite her gentile, upper-class upbringing, Rainee wanted to punch Amber in the face. Instead, she smiled politely and patted her sister’s cheek with her left hand.
     “What is that?” she gasped, grabbing Rainee’s hand to examine the exquisite dihydra diamond. “I’ve never seen one of these in person. How’d you get this?”
     “If you’d find a moment to answer my comms you’d know Tom and I have been dating for several months. He’s asked me to marry him, and I said yes.” Rainee bathed Tom in a radiant smile as she looped her arm through his. He’d been silently watching the terse exchange between the sisters, but when she turned the full force of that smile on him, he virtually melted.
     “I’ve been working up the nerve to ask her for weeks,” he said. Inadvertently brushing away Amber’s hand, he bent his head to kiss Rainee. Her sister’s eyes narrowed, though she pasted on a delighted smile.
     “How wonderful! Father will be happy to hear of it,” she said. Rainee noticed Amber’s sharp fingernails dig into the palms of her hands. “When is the wedding to take place?”
     “Well, our engagement is new. I’m arranging an engagement party which you’re welcome to attend. The invitations will be sent soon. I think we’ll be announcing the wedding date at the party.” He looked at Rainee.
     “Yes, that sounds good,” she answered the question in his eyes.
     “I suppose I should not hold you up any longer, Councilman. I look forward to hearing your final plan for security on the transports. I’ll be in touch with you soon.” Amber nodded curtly to him and made her exit without another word to her sister. Rainee waited until she was out of view before she turned on Tom, jerking her arm from his. He’d had a strange look on his face as he watched after Amber’s departure.
     “What the hell were you doing with that viper?” He almost cringed at her harsh tone.
     “I didn’t know she was your sister. You never talk about your family.”
     “It doesn’t matter if she’s my sister or not. She was all over you, and you let her. Why were you whispering in her ear?” His face flushed slightly.
     “She wasn’t all over me. We were just talking, and I wasn’t raised to be rude to a lady. They’re having problems with their supply transports, and I’m trying to work out some way to minimize the losses. We actually have been in meetings the last two days. Like it or not, we’ve been working together and we’ll continue to work together until the problem is solved. It’s my job, Baby.”
     “I don’t like it, and that harpy is no lady. Whatever you do, don’t make that mistake. You’re too damn nice for your own good sometimes, Tom. She will chew you up and spit you out before you know she’s taken the first bite.”
     “Were you jealous?” he asked quietly. Her jaw dropped.
     “Jealous? Of her? No. Not really. You could have been just anybody she was hanging all over, and I’d be angry. She’s a beauty on the outside, but never forget she’s really a troll. And now that she knows we’re engaged, she’ll try digging her claws into you.”
     “That’s an awful thing to say about your sister.”
     “It would be if it wasn’t the truth. I know her, Tom. Trust me.”
     “I do. I just think maybe you should give her a chance.”
     “I’ve given her plenty. When is it enough?”
     “It’s never enough when it comes to family.”
     “Once we’re married, she’ll be your family, and you can give her all the chances you want.”

Yep.  I did warn you it was longish, but I promise to make it up by reading all of yours ;)  On another note, I hope you take a moment to check out the "Help find a cure" platform contest in my sidebar.  It'd be awesome if the blogosphere can spread the word for a good cause, if only by posting the link.


  1. I'd say your WIP has great promise. I'm definitely intrigued. You can't go wrong with a little sibling rivalry.

    I was so excited to get to read a little more after your entry in the blogfest yesterday. I wasn't ready to stop reading. Great work!

  2. Great bones in this early draft, Angela. I have four sisters -- there's always drama with us. Enjoy exploring the dynamic!

  3. Thank you for posting, its always rough at first, there some good drama in here. have a wonderful time exploring everything with this piece. good luck!

  4. Sibling rivalry ALWAYS makes for good drama! LOL. Enjoy the journey with this one - it's on its way! :-)

  5. Heh heh...I love sister DRAMA! Nothing quite like it. Your writing was very fluid and it didn't read as being longish at all. I really enjoyed it.

    Thank you for taking the time to put some of your writing on display for me. :)

  6. Hi,

    Sibling rivalry is always a winner - envy, competition, the never ending squabbles over petty issues, love and hate the strongest of emotions and at odds or allied.

    Best with this, I loved it.


  7. Very good for a first draft. I hope to see the book some day.

    I'm following your blog.

  8. I love Rainee's harsh assessment of the socialite before we find out they're sisters.
    Sister cat fights always equal high drama.

  9. loooooooooooooooooooooved it!

    "Despite her gentile, upper-class upbringing, Rainee wanted to punch Amber in the face. Instead, she smiled politely and patted her sister’s cheek with her left hand."

    That made me LOL. Brilliant. Ah, sisters. No woman can be a closer friend- or a more dangerous, um, challenge...


  10. I'd say you will get plenty of drama from these sisters. In just this bit you can smell future issues abound.

    And I liked how she assessed her sister before we knew she was her sister too. Sometimes family relations can become so strained that we start seeing one another as strangers or walking laundry lists of things we do not like about them or ourselves.

    Good job and best of luck on the water and in the pages.

  11. Hello Angela,

    Thanks for stopping by my entry. So, your piece was really great. The choice of siblings butting heads can usually be a hot-button element that makes good drama. The one line that stuck out was, "punching her in the face, but instead she smiled."

    Thanks for sharing!

  12. ...great dialogue has this magical way of keeping everything moving along, which your post does nicely:)

    This piece was a good decision for your entry...afterall, who knows drama better than a pair of sisters?
    Well done...glad I stopped by:)

  13. *snipe, snipe* That was great. There was a lot of character building in the waspish exchange. And relevant backstory without feeling like an info dump.

    I liked it. The story sounds intriguing just by this scene. I'm hooked, and want to get to know this character.


  14. I was totally caught up in your story, and the dialogue was awesome. This was my favorite:

    “Jealous? Of her? No. Not really. You could have been just anybody she was hanging all over, and I’d be angry. She’s a beauty on the outside, but never forget she’s really a troll. And now that she knows we’re engaged, she’ll try digging her claws into you.”

    Well done!


  15. Great drama!! Love your dialogue, beacuse it's so good, I'm jealous by it! Definitely not my strong suit.

  16. Very intriguing! You do a great job with dialogue. Well done!

    Please stop by and check out my 100 Followers Contest. I'm announcing a new blogfest tomorrow, too!

  17. Great scene (didn't notice it was long!), a very engaging read. Thanks for sharing this!

  18. Sister rivalry is always a winner. Enjoyed reading..:)

  19. I love how you introduces the socialite sister...nice little twist. Also, nothing better than catty sister rivalry. I enjoyed this.

    Thanks for sharing!

  20. Thanks for your comment today, it is crazy how PPD can be hit and miss, isn't it?

    And what a fun blogfest you all are doing! Sibling rivalry, how can you go wrong? ;)

  21. Thank you to everyone who read this post! I know getting around to everyone in a blogfest this big is time-consuming, so I'm glad you enjoyed. I also appreciate the comments. They really help me see the strong points in the writing so I can make sure I keep that up.


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